Mentality is Everything From Last Call-outs to First call-outs & a Nationally Qualified Title
- Aug 21, 2017
- 5 min read
As I've shared before, I debated signing up for a bikini competition for a couple years before taking the plunge. I'd followed a ton of girls on Instagram and YouTube through their preps, and was fully aware of the WORK it was going to take. I never underestimated that. What I did underestimate was the mental f*ck it can create..
I started a 20 week bikini prep with my coach, and fully trusted that I'd be teeny, tiny, stage lean in no time. However, at about 4 weeks out from my first ever competition I started having severe self-doubt. I would scroll through social media and see other girls (most of them having competed for years) "X" number of weeks out and think "omg I don't look like that. There's no way I'll do good at this show." I continued with the self-doubt, continued to scroll through social media, comparing myself to alllll the other girls (hopefully you're catching my drift that these were all HUGE mistakes), feeling worse and worse.
My show was April 29th. I bought my competition suit on Black Friday the prior November. for WHATEVER crazy reason, I told myself I wasn't going to put that suit on until I had the body for it.. Well, still not feeling confident in myself at 2 weeks out, I knew I had to put the suit on to make sure it fit. It didn't. The bottom was too tight around my hips and created a bulge in my hip "fat." I broke down in tears. Luckily, my Grandma was great with seam work and was able to loosen it some. She claims I way overestimated how tight it was and she could barely tell it was too tight.
The week leading up to my show I felt terrible. I felt stressed (which I put on myself), I felt embarrassed, like why did I think I would be good enough to step on stage? With the week & and a half leading up to the show, I weighed in every morning, as the smallest adjustments all add up. My weight went up for 5 days straight... While my coach tried to make adjustments, it was evident that my body was holding water due to stress (and, which I found out later, some pre-period bloat as my period came a week early! I always bloat the week leading up to it. But I didn't think it was my time). I balled my eyes out to my Grandma that week as she sew my suit looser. She was incredibly supportive, but looking back, I think I tuned out some very wise words from her..
If I didn't already pay the registration fee (double since I competed in Open & True Novice classes), the hotel, etc. I would've dropped out.
Come show day I tried my best to hold my head high, but the second I walked into the venue and laid eyes on the other girls, I felt defeated already. I didn't think I looked like them, I didn't have friends to talk to like they did (well, many of them just met that day and were being social; I was simply thinking the worst possible, that I was the only loner there). Other things went wrong that day, like some tanning mishaps, poor lipstick color from the MUA (I am so NOT a barbie pink type of girl...), rushing, no pump-up time.. all little things that I ALLOWED to get the best of me. By the time I walked out on stage, I had ZERO confidence.. rushed through my routine, didn't make eye contact with the judges, didn't hold myself tight and high.. I got last call-outs. I remember standing backstage waiting to go back on for True Novice, clock-watching, praying for the day to be over.
My next show was again, pre-registered for 2 weeks later. I talked on the phone with my coach the next day, we talked about my attitude, and started making adjustments to my plan. Those next 2 weeks, I was minimal on social media. The only posts I would read (because I had my push notifications turned on) were from "@bossladiesminset" and other accounts like that. I started reading "Relentless" by Tim Grover, and "You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life." Between the daily words, and the self-reflection from that show, I VOWED to have a COMPLETELY different show day experience. I started talking to 2 girls on IG that were doing the same show, and was excited to meet them. I had my post-show meal planned out, which as silly as it sounds, was SO motivating hahah!
I watched this video from Christie Bailey on YouTube (I'll link it because it was AMAZING), called The Difference Between 1st and 10th Place. It basically went over her client whose goal was to finish in the top 10. Christie's response? Why are you aiming for 10th, when you're capable of achieving 1st? It was eye opening. This 2 weeks felt way longer, because I completely changed everything- my mindset, my posing, my daily rituals.. I already had the goal of getting first call-outs, until I watched this clip. Why am I aiming for 5th? I should be aiming for 1st. If I can't envision myself placing first, it simply won't happen.
From there, I created another daily ritual. Every night I laid down for bed, I played the next show day in my head. I envisioned myself on stage, KILLING my routine, getting first call-outs, being moved to the center, hearing my name get called out for the first place trophy, every single detail I played out in my head every night leading up to the show.
The day before the show I made a post, to hold myself accountable, that I WAS going to make this day different. I was going to ALLOW myself to enjoy the day, to talk to the other girls, to take pictures with the girls, to practice my posing in front of anyone (this used to be a huge fear of mine), to not shut out my supporters (I definately was a buzzkill to be around after my first show. Which I hate, looking back, because my husband and Grandma went out of their way to take off work and come out of town with me to this show.)
Well, I did it all! The day went so fast! I met friends backstage that I still talk to today. I got first-callouts in both my Open and Novice classes, and walked away with two trophies that day. The placings were just icing on the cake. My husband recordered both my routines, and comparisons at the two shows. It was EVIDENT that I was smoother, slower, more confident, held myself tighter like I actually WANTED to win at this 2nd show. I do think I came in a bit tighter this show, but in just 2 weeks, there isn't a ton you can do to change your package- the mentality, the decreased stress, the confidence is what placed me that day.
I am so grateful that I was able to overcome my prior mental setback and find enjoyment in this sport. I'm currently prepping for my last show of the season, and I couldn't be more EXCITED!
Thank you all for following along my journey, and I'll be sure to keep you posted through this prep!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UpSN7GN-g9Q
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